A Funny Old Story

Sophie and Jake in 2008

I’m still reading my old journals (it’s one of my favorite pastimes), and today I found this funny story from the year Jake was four and Sophie was seven. As you’ll see, the kids were a real handful back then:

Monday, May 26, 2008


Yesterday Jake wanted to read Sophie’s diary. Keep in mind Sophie’s seven and can barely write, so it’s not like her diary contains any salacious material. I’ve read it before. It says things like, “I like my room.” And: “My cat’s name is Velvet.” It’s not all that private either. Kris has to help her spell most of the words.

Anyway, Jake wanted to read Sophie’s diary while Sophie was at school. Kris called me on the phone and told me about it. She said, “I tried to explain to Jake what a diary was, that it was secret, but he didn’t get it. He still said, ‘Can we read Sophie’s diary?’ And then he comes home from school and he’s made this diorama that he wants me to look at. He says, ‘Mommy, do you want to read my diary?’ And I’m like, ‘That’s not a diary; it’s a diorama.’ And he’s like, ‘Well, I’m going to call it a diary.’ I’m like, ‘Fine.’ So anyway, Sophie comes home from school and right away Jake tells her he’s read her diary, which is a total lie. So Sophie freaks out. She is such a drama queen. She goes from zero to 60 in like one second. She’s screaming and squeezing Jake’s head, and I’m like, ‘Sophie, he didn’t do it!’ And Sophie’s like, ‘He did!’ And I’m like, ‘Sophie, he didn’t. Think about it. Your diary is hidden, it’s locked, and Jake can’t read!’ She’s like, ‘Well, he said he did it!’ And I’m like, ‘Well, I’m pretty sure he didn’t.’ So like five minutes go by and Jake comes screaming down the hall. He’s totally sobbing. He’s screaming, ‘Mommy, Sophie readed my diary!’ Because she looked at his diorama. And I’m just like, ‘I am going to lose it.’ Phil doesn’t get why I’m a crazy person by the time he gets home at 7:30. I’m like, ‘You try dealing with them reading each other’s diaries!'”