Ballerina Girl

Kris, Sophie, and Jake came over to visit last night.

This was Jake’s greeting to me: “I’m only here because Mommy said I can play Rob’s video games.”

“Well,” I said, “I appreciate your honesty.”

Rob set Jake up on his Xbox. And meanwhile, Kris and I started working on a photo shoot with Sophie in my meadow garden. Sophie was wearing her ballet recital costume—a tutu and pink ballet shoes and a full face of makeup. Her tutu was so pretty. The bodice was dark blue velvet, and the skirt was made of layers of pale blue and gold tulle.

As soon as we started shooting, Sophie transformed once again into Rainbow Glitterson, international superstar, and I reprised my role as her sycophantic assistant. Ms. Glitterson was plagued by gnats and annoyed by the head photographer (her mother). The head photographer was so trying.

“Get my limo,” Ms. Glitterson said to me after three minutes in the meadow. “I’m done. We’re leaving.”

“You’ve put up with so much, Ms. Glitterson,” I said. “I know your fans appreciate all you do for them.”

Ms. Glitterson kept complaining about the paparazzi. And then, periodically, she’d scream at me, “What are you just standing there for? Fan me!”

She was the biggest diva. Most of the shots I got featured her freaking out over a gnat. I could barely take pictures because I was laughing so hard. Sophie was driving her mother crazy.

“Scratch my back!” she’d cry. “I’m itchy!” And Kris would have to stop shooting and scratch her back. Kris was rolling her eyes and pretending to strangle her.

Ms. Glitterson was being so dramatic, really hamming it up. When we were shooting near my front door, in the hall, Kris instructed her to lean against the screen door, and Ms. Glitterson fell out the screen door onto the porch. It was a very hammy pratfall. Kris was rolling her eyes like crazy.

“Ms. Glitterson is a very versatile performer,” I enthused. “She’s most well known for her dramatic roles, but she also does slapstick.”

Kris wanted Ms. Glitterson to sit in a chair by the window and pretend to put on some too-small toe shoes. Ms. Glitterson took issue. “Why’s there only one ribbon?” she whined.

“Because it’s a prop!” Kris cried. “Because it doesn’t matter!” Then she said, “Fine! Forget the toe shoes!”

Ms. Glitterson ordered me to get her limo again.

“I’m done,” she said, holding up her palm.

And then she started laughing and hugging her mother. “Did I do good, Mommy?” she asked.

Kris didn’t answer. She was too busy laughing and and shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

After the photo shoot, Sophie helped Rob braid the garlic he harvested last weekend. Then she helped me bake peanut butter cookies with chocolate kisses on top. And after that we played Password and Catch Phrase and drank Cokes and ate cookies. And lastly we turned off all the lights and watched fireflies through the sun room windows and told funny stories about our cats. Kris told us about a friend of hers who kept rescuing strays. Finally, the lady had so many cats she had to go on antidepressants.