St. George: Part Two

Kris and Jake have the cutest, closest relationship. They’re like an old married couple, always together and  always kind of getting on each other’s nerves. Several times they were seen walking side by side on the beach, happily bickering, both rolling their eyes, Jake making air quotes. Jake is such a drama queen. “Why can’t I do it, Mommy?” he was heard to say/shout during a stroll. (I’m not sure what “it” was, but I’m sure it was dangerous.) “Oh, because you think I’m not ‘mature’ enough?”Jake spent most of the weekend enthusiastically nagging Kris to play endless games of two-square and Webkinz. And when he wasn’t nagging, he was thwarting her plans.

On our first day at the beach, we decided we should go out and rent bicycles, and then Kris suggested we stop at the SGI Fresh Market, a new grocery on the island.

“No, Mommy,” Jake said, putting on his pouty face. “I’m not going. I’m not going to the grocery market. I do not want to, Mommy.”

“I’m not either,” Rob said. He grinned at Kris: “I mean, the grocery store? Come on. That sounds so boring.”

“I am not going to the grocery market, Mommy,” Jake said.

“But it’s right by Two Gulls,” I said luringly. “We can stop at Two Gulls.” (Two Gulls is a girly souvenir shop that I love and all the boys hate.) “You could look for your present there.” (Kris had told Jake he could pick out a little present for himself during our trip.)

“You might find something really great at Two Gulls,” Mom enthused.

“What, Hummy?” Jake cried, truly incredulous. “What did you say? You never find anything great at Two Gulls!”

“True enough,” Rob smiled, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe you guys don’t like Two Gulls,” I said. “They sell Zotz . . . and Bernardo sandals. . . . It’s one of my favorite places.”

Jake finally agreed to go with us when we consented to make our first stop this terrible souvenir mega mart that sells fake gum that gives you a shock. When we got to the shop, they didn’t actually have the gum anymore, but they did have play guns that shocked you. They were kind of like mild tasers.

I was so scared of the guns. (I got shocked by the gum last year, and it hurt.) Jake was chasing me around the store with a gun and I was screaming and running away, knocking over the merchandise.

“Just take the pain!” Jake was yelling. “Just take the pain, Leslie!” He couldn’t believe I wasn’t letting him shock me, and Rob couldn’t believe how bad we were acting in a store.

Kris was rolling her eyes. “Leslie, you’re acting like it’s a real gun and he’s making you kill yourself,” she said.

I ran out of the store into the blinding sun. It was so, so hot and sunny on St. George Island. The white dunes were glowing all around.

When the rest of the family finally came out, Jake was pitching a fit because he wanted to get ice cream.

“We’ll get ice cream later,” Kris said.

Jake sat down at a little table under a striped umbrella in the parking lot. “Well, I’m just going to stay here then!” he declared in the most melodramatic way. “I’m just going to stay here and sob!”

Oh, I couldn’t stop laughing.

“Let’s go rent bikes,” I said. “Come on. Let’s do it.”

“When can we ride them?” Jake asked. “Can we ride them now? Do you promise we can ride them now, Leslie?”

“We can ride them as soon as we finish going to Two Gulls,” I said.

And Jake fell back in his chair, moaning.